How I Beat Bobby, and Other Chess Stories

How I Beat Bobby

"I think your theory of openings is wrong." I told Bobby one day. "How so?" he replied, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. "I simply cannot get myself to believe that at the highest level of chess, openings do not matter." I answered "I see..." Bobby thought for a moment. "Well, why don't we try?" I was confused. "I don't see how we could." "The method is simple." He said after a moment of silence. "We will play a game. You will play my first three moves, so that you can open my pieces how you like. I will play them for the remainder of the game and, if my theory proves correct, I should beat you."
We soon had the game prepared, and we started to play by the rules Bobby had come up with. I played as white. I moved my pawn to e4, then followed by by moving Bobby's to e5. My opponent's face was unmoved. My next move was still orthodox--the Bishop's Opening, followed by opening Bobby's b Knight to c6. What I did next, some like to call the "Napoleon Attack"--I moved my Queen out to f3. This is usually a terrible move, but Bobby instantly recognized what I was about to try. He gave me the strange face that was characteristic of him when he was very annoyed. Before Bobby could say anything, I quickly moved his pawn--I can't remember which one--and then moved my Queen home to checkmate. Bobby stared silently for an instant, pondering over the game, then a small smile came to his face. He gave me a hearty handshake, leaving the room.
We remained good friends for many years after that game, but Bobby never said a word to me again about that theory of his. I like to think that I proved him wrong. Maybe.