Breaking The Silence Online

@Professor74 @Murphy_the_Irish_red @QueenRosieMary

It seems odd to even to try to choose prizes 'aimed' at boys and girls to start with!! As a child, I am female, I loved tractors/trains and hated dolls!:))

Even odder for a Chess Tournament, as they should all be chess related prizes, eg chess sets/books etc. On the topic of chess books as prizes, I will say this!

I don't think that a very good friend of mine would mind me saying it, who could have probably been one of the top female player's in the country, if she hadn't given up playing for a career, that the girls and boys were given book prizes, but the girls were given a choice of beginner's books!!!!!!! :((((and the boys serious chess books!!:((( Even though some of the female winners were potentially just as strong/talented!!

@Professor74 It is very sad of him to expect female players not to be as strong/ to win a prize:(((

@Buny77 said in #761:
> @Professor74 @Murphy_the_Irish_red @QueenRosieMary
>
> It seems odd to even to try to choose prizes 'aimed' at boys and girls to start with!! As a child, I am female, I loved tractors/trains and hated dolls!:))
>
> Even odder for a Chess Tournament, as they should all be chess related prizes, eg chess sets/books etc. On the topic of chess books as prizes, I will say this!
>
> I don't think that a very good friend of mine would mind me saying it, who could have probably been one of the top female player's in the country, if she hadn't given up playing for a career, that the girls and boys were given book prizes, but the girls were given a choice of beginner's books!!!!!!! :((((and the boys serious chess books!!:((( Even though some of the female winners were potentially just as strong/talented!!
>
> @Professor74 It is very sad of him to expect female players not to be as strong/ to win a prize:(((

Happily, at no time did I mention that I wanted to buy dolls, this did not happen. Of course, there are several girls who play with tractors, machine guns, etc. I'm not going to mention the percentage of girls who like these toys, it's not the main issue here. In fact, if that coach wanted to buy toys for boys, this is a minor fact compared to the infinite contempt he felt - I think still has the same prejudice - for girls in chess. As I said in my original post, we eventually bought more suitable prizes. I prevailed in this matter. We finally bought chess books and intelligence games.

@QueenRosieMary said in #760:
> Thank you for sharing this Robert. I have read a lot of your forum posts and I know you are very invested in the subject. Sadly it doesn't surprise me but it is disheartening and as @Murphy_the_Irish_red has also said, this is his experience too. I can only imagine the negativity and lack of confidence this other "coach" instills in his female students... If this is a common attitude at grass roots level, it is only natural that it will continue to permeate through the whole chess culture.
>
> And this was only five years ago, not fifty. How sad.

We have a lot of work to do in this area. As a positive counterpart, most of my colleagues promote women's chess by organizing many activities.

Thinking that the girls are not strong enough to win the top prizes actually leads to the Golem Effect. It's the opposite of the Pygmalion Effect.

As we pass the 20k views mark and the post has been up for just over a month and is still active on page 77 with 764 posts, I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and/or like the blog and comment constructively on it. Thanks also to all of you who have sent me encouraging personal messages. Thank you Lichess mods for putting up with and moderating what has been at times a difficult and controversial thread. I am only one person and could do nothing on my own, but together you have all made awareness of this issue spread further which is a step towards combating it, so again, thank you, everyone!!!

@QueenRosieMary would you please PM me. I would like to chat a little.

Sounds like that might not be a good idea..you have been caught it seems ?!

mdobrasi
This account violated the Lichess Terms of Service

@Professor74 said in #762:
> Happily, at no time did I mention that I wanted to buy dolls, this did not happen. Of course, there are several girls who play with tractors, machine guns, etc. I'm not going to mention the percentage of girls who like these toys, it's not the main issue here. In fact, if that coach wanted to buy toys for boys, this is a minor fact compared to the infinite contempt he felt - I think still has the same prejudice - for girls in chess. As I said in my original post, we eventually bought more suitable prizes. I prevailed in this matter. We finally bought chess books and intelligence games.

the toy store story was scary, sure a person like the one you talked about shouldn't be working in the chess world or sporting/educational world. but I find it surprising to want to buy toys for a tournament, I find that it lacks pedagogy (imagine that the child does not want this or that toy!) and knowing a lot of people in the organization of sporting events , they all told me that the gifts relating to the event (books and chess board in the case of chess) are the most fair and honest and the most educational. the only "toys" I have seen awarded at sporting events (often for all participants) are small plush toys, and the plush toy is a toy for all children, girls and boys alike. moreover, the plush will have a more symbolic value, closer to the mascot than to the toy to play with. (besides in adult sporting events, particularly abroad, there are sometimes plush toys offered as a sign of welcome or thanks, after all, it's a smiling thing, like a mascot).

but agreeing with what was said above, I didn't imagine that this kind of comments could exist in the 21st century. but you did the right thing, it's only the fault of the person you're talking about.

I have disguised the opponents name here, what did he want to talk about ??

doodah 125 Hello
Tbootpoo
hi :)
dooddah125 I want to improve my English could we talk via voice chat?
Tbootpoo
no lol just here :)

Then he resigned lol

wow